The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
