Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize