The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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