they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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