i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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