Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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