Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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