Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize