direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
