we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize