he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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