11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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