WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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