You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
