Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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