Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
