WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
NoShamevember. You game?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
