I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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