I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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