This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
