I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can't put those talents on a resume
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
