He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
NoShamevember. You game?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
