Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't deserve a penis
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
