4 words: hood of his car
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Boobs are out for the taking
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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