I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
