i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
