You can't motorboat a personality
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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