ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
