I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
