I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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