Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
