Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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