i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
