is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
