She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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