I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize