idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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