love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
