just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
