so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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