Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize