I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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