Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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