Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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