I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
