"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just googled if crying burns calories
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
