He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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