brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
