My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
