she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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