We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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