so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
