thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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