How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So vagazzling was a success
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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