For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
