Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
