we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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