i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize