Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
