Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize