We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize