So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
