he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
