Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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