she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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