Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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