Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
